Walking the Walk

Around this time last year, I wrote out my new morality. I looked at things from the perspective of growth and figured out what I wanted to keep in my life and what I wanted gone. For the most part, it hasn't been so difficult to live a life closer to what I consider to be "right."

Of course, complications happen. They happen when people who have a very different idea of friendship than I do try to force me into their vision. My first impulse is to say "No, try mine, it's better!" Thankfully, I know better than to follow it. My morality is not one for everyone. It's for me. There are things about it that other people may not understand, and that's perfectly alright. If they want to learn more about it, they can ask me and I'll share. Otherwise, I tend not to bring it up in my daily life. Just in a few safe spaces, this one included.

What is most difficult is interacting with those whose ideas are the polar opposites of mine. For example, a friend of mine lives by convenience. He does things that are easy (regardless of consequences), mingles with the "right" people, and changes his ideas and opinions based on who or what is around him. My fiance and I both care for him, he's a close friend after all, but as people who don't believe in convenience, it is a struggle to interact with him at times. It's hard for me especially, because I know where he is. I was there too. I see him making all of the same mistakes I used to. I need to fight the urge to guide him because it's not my place. I don't hold his decisions against him, as I would have in the past, but I do wish he would put more thought into them.

As a friend (according to outsiders), I should take the initiative to sit him down and talk to him about what he does. As someone who is practicing a more serene way of life, I find that's not possible anymore. The question becomes - is sticking to what I believe in more important than continuing this connection? Yes, no, maybe? Which one is the right answer? Is there a right answer?

RG

On the Edge of Optimism

I've been reading past old entries in the blog again. I do this when I'm not too sure of what to add. It's always been difficult for me to write when I'm happy. When I'm happy, I want to run out into the sun and dance in the street.

My life has taken so many twists and turns in these past few years. As I type this out now, I glance at the little reminder that I'm getting married on my left hand. It twinkles out of the corner of my eye, and a grin creeps across my face. I look a the tabs open in my browser and see that my e-mail inbox is full of warm, welcoming messages from my new school in Manhattan. I'm happy.

Life has led me to this point where I have absolutely no reason not to smile. I wake up each morning with a peace of mind I have not felt in years. There is no fear of what the day will bring anymore. Only hope and a taste of adventure.

I don't want this to end, even though I know all things, good and bad, do. So I will do the next best thing. I will smile and enjoy each day.

RG